This moment

The beauty of this single moment surpasses the dark of my days and brings me back to the light.

Love and gratitude fill every void and I feel free and very much alive.

Having lived so much of my life like disconnected the feeling of actually taking part and experiencing is profound and enriching.

I am alive, totally living and feeling this here and now. My heart and soul swell in appreciation for each second, minute and hour that goes by.

That I can maintain this for any extended period of time feels doubtful so I soak up all that I can while I am able.

I will draw on this moment when I am lost again in the shadows and hope that it’s strength and beauty will draw me back.

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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart — Helen Keller

About Me
My life really began for me with the birth of my first child.

I had endured and survived a childhood filled with abuse and had always felt different to everybody else, an outsider. The love I felt for my children began to unlock so many feeling and memories and so my journey began.

That was eight years ago now and what a time that has been, filled with so much pain, sickness and sadness, joy, wonderment and love. So many hidden and repressed memories were unlocked, revealing more abuse, sexual, physical and emotional, hatred, anger, shame and silence.

I sit here now so proud of myself for coming so far and realise that this journey is far from over and may well never be.

This blog is my voice which has been silent for too long, kept inside of me as a big toxic secret.

I am a great mum and love and adore my children. They have captured my heart and helped me to open up in ways I never thought possible. I have shared and delighted in their childhood more than they will ever realise.

We are a loving and very close family of three, having just recently seperated from my partner of three years. It was an extremely hard decision to make, breaking up the family I had always dreamed of but knew our lives had taken a very different path and it was time to be true to what I wanted for myself and my children and move on.

I am a massage therapist studying a diploma in holistic living counselling and so very grateful for all that life has to offer me and for a the chance to create a future so very different from my past. Am I happy?

A lot of the time I am, sometimes I am not so sure and just feel a little distant and numb and there are days that are just overwhelming and such a struggle.

But I am a survivor and have so much love, hope and strength within me that I will find the real me, release my past and connect and help others through my work to do the same.
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