Is there something in pain that challenges the mind and makes you feel like you are disjointed and not part of the world around you.

For me this seems to be the way far too often.

Pain in my body that seems to be with me on my waking breath, eases as I am consumed with my daily goings on but then reclaims my joy once I have put my kids to bed.

It is all encompassing and consuming and both saddens and overwhelms me.

It is like trying to tell me something and for the life of me I cant quite figure it out, and while it is so intense find myself confused and with no real direction.

Over the past four years my body has been in so much pain on and off, there always seems to be something going on,  something to grow and learn from.

But at times, like now when it is at its worst and totally clouds my day I need to go deep inside and figure out what is going on.

Today I feel so very saddened and burdened by my life and my normal clear direction and drive has faltered.  My path that seemed so clear only a week ago seems overgrown and laden with obstacles making me reconsider my previous options.

This is a time to reflect on the beautiful things that this journey of life has to offer me and look for that sunshine and feel its rays shine down and empower me once again.