Self Acceptance

Published August 3, 2014 | By Samara

It is so very hard not to feel shamed and unworthy having the childhood that I did.

It was dark, violent and traumatic, filled with abuse, hatred, anger and guilt.

I have struggled my whole life to escape my past and recreate my future, to stop this vicious cycle and be all that I can be in this second chance that I have been given.

And I am winning, very much so.

I still have my days when I want to hide from the harshness of the world, retreat to the safety of me, and then others like today when I feel my personal power shining bright and strong.

To feel such pride, honour and acceptance of who I am and finding my place in this game called life.

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About Me

My life really began for me with the birth of my first child.

I had endured and survived a childhood filled with abuse and had always felt different to everybody else, an outsider. The love I felt for my children began to unlock so many feeling and memories and so my journey began.

That was eight years ago now and what a time that has been, filled with so much pain, sickness and sadness, joy, wonderment and love. So many hidden and repressed memories were unlocked, revealing more abuse, sexual, physical and emotional, hatred, anger, shame and silence.

I sit here now so proud of myself for coming so far and realise that this journey is far from over and may well never be.

This blog is my voice which has been silent for too long, kept inside of me as a big toxic secret.

I am a great mum and love and adore my children. They have captured my heart and helped me to open up in ways I never thought possible. I have shared and delighted in their childhood more than they will ever realise.

We are a loving and very close family of three, having just recently seperated from my partner of three years. It was an extremely hard decision to make, breaking up the family I had always dreamed of but knew our lives had taken a very different path and it was time to be true to what I wanted for myself and my children and move on.

I am a massage therapist studying a diploma in holistic living counselling and so very grateful for all that life has to offer me and for a the chance to create a future so very different from my past. Am I happy?

A lot of the time I am, sometimes I am not so sure and just feel a little distant and numb and there are days that are just overwhelming and such a struggle.

But I am a survivor and have so much love, hope and strength within me that I will find the real me, release my past and connect and help others through my work to do the same.

Self Acceptance

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